Decaf

Decaf

A few years ago, I tossed off a silly little short script about decaf coffee.

It was just sitting in my writing folder, forever unproduced, so I might as well post it here.

Enjoy!

INT. BREAK ROOM - DAY

PETE is drinking from a coffee cup when DAVE enters with an empty cup and picks up the pot.

DAVE

Decaf? What kind of monster makes decaf first thing in the morning?

PETE

Wasn’t me, bro. I’m on a tea kick right now. Antioxidants.

Dave sighs and gazes sadly into his empty cup.

ARTHUR enters and goes straight for the decaf.

ARTHUR

Oh, good, it’s ready.

Arthur pours a cup and smiles at Pete and Dave, who stare at him in horror until he leaves the break room.

Pete and Dave share a significant glance, then follow Arthur.

INT. CUBICLE - DAY

Arthur sits working in his cubicle.

Pete and Dave slowly peek over the wall of the cubicle until Arthur looks their way and they hide again quickly.

EXT. OFFICE - NIGHT

Arthur leaves for the day. After a beat, Pete and Dave follow him.

EXT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

Arthur drives home with Pete and Dave tailing him in Dave’s car.

INT./EXT. DAVE’S CAR - NIGHT

Dave drives while Pete frantically reads through a giant leather-bound book.

EXT. ARTHUR’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Arthur parks in his driveway and Dave parks across the street.

After Arthur goes inside his house, Pete and Dave jump out of the car and go to the trunk.

Dave opens the trunk and pulls out a crossbow. Pete pulls out a wicked-looking katana.

Pete and Dave sneak around the side of Arthur’s house.

INT. ARTHUR’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Arthur stands in front of the fridge, drinking straight from a carton of orange juice. Pete and Dave sneak up behind him.

DAVE

Drinking straight from the carton? You ARE a monster!

Pete shoves a crucifix in Arthur’s face, and Arthur backs away, hissing. His eyes glow red and his fingers turn into claws. He advances on Pete and Dave.

MONTAGE

-Pete and Dave run from Arthur.

-Horrible unearthly screaming.

-Household objects fly around.

-Green ichor splatters.

EXT. ARTHUR’S HOUSE - NIGHT

Pete and Dave smoke cigarettes and watch as Arthur’s house burns down.

DAVE

Starbucks?

PETE

Let’s do it.

THE END



     shorts
comedy, short, and monster
1043 words, 5 minute read