In 2018, I wrote a few comedy shorts to beef up my portfolio. This one is a satirical ad for a contacts delivery app.
INT. BATHROOM - DAY
A YOUNG WOMAN stands in front of the bathroom mirror. She is wearing giant coke-bottle glasses and looks a bit unkempt.
She reaches for a BOX OF CONTACTS, but as soon as she picks it up, she realizes the box is empty.
She shakes it upside-down, horrified, but nothing comes out. Her day is ruined!
A SPOKESMAN wearing a drab suit pushes open the shower curtain behind her and steps out of the tub, looking into the camera.
Has this ever happened to you? Getting ready to go out for a night of fun and you're all out of contacts?
Oh no! What should I do?
Don't let Big Contact keep you down! Reach for your smart phone and download SeeHere to order contacts delivered directly to your eyes in minutes!
The Young Woman downloads the app and orders with a few taps.
Seconds later, her DOORBELL RINGS.
Wow! That was... really fast!
She smiles uneasily, but shakes it off.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
She opens the front door to reveal a sharply-dressed DELIVERY MAN holding a case full of contacts.
SeeHere, with your contact delivery! You've got quite the impressive astigmatism.
Thanks, I guess?
Take a seat. Let’s put in those contacts!
He burps and pounds his chest.
Excuse me! Indigestion. I had some super spicy hot wings for lunch, but don't worry - I washed my hands really well!
He reaches into his case and pulls out contacts and solution.
Why would I be worried?
The Spokesman steps into the room.
That's right! With the tap of a button, one of our qualified contact technicians will come to your home or place of business and install your new contacts!
The Delivery Man gently removes the Young Woman’s glasses.
Now, I'm gonna need you to hold real nice and still...
He reaches out with one finger, a contact balanced on the tip, slowly moving towards the young woman's eye...
EXT. CAFE - NIGHT
The Young Woman laughs with a GROUP OF FRIENDS.
The Spokesman smiles at them and turns back to the camera.
You’ll love our contacts, or the next pair is half off!
The Young Woman turns to the camera, revealing an EYE PATCH. She smiles and gives a thumbs-up.
The Spokesman winces and waves back at her.